I am incessantly amazed at how easily some people surrender their power.

You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?

  • People who wave theirs white flags wildly in an insane effort to exempt themselves from taking up arms (their own two arms), preposterously supposing  that surrender will at least fetch them a life of tolerable imprisonment.
  • People who choose not to accept that they possess the power to solve the problems they perceive.
  • People who are  far too busy blaming others for every misfortune that befalls them, all whilst swooning and clamouring at the injustice of it all.
  • People who are  more comfortable playing the role of victim than of the adventuring hero of their own stories.

It makes things easier, doesn’t it? Not having to take personal responsibility for what happens in your life. Or does it?

On the flip side… the fun side, we’ve got a posse of possibilitarians who live life as an epic adventure,  where the limits of the imagination are their only constraints.

Where do you stand? Are you at cause in your life? Or are you at effect?

Not sure?

Check these simple benchmarks and see where you fall:

Being At Cause

  • You take full responsibility for all that you create
  •  You are the driving force of all that you achieve.
  • You see opportunities instead of obstacles
  • You are an explorer of possibility
  • You are flexible and adapt to change
  • You accept challenges and love to learn
  • You are response able for your emotions and actions
  • You reach and surpass goals and move on to new ones
  • You feel like you have the world in the palm of your hand

Being At Effect

  • You blame others for how you feel
  • You feel powerless to reach your goals
  • You see obstacles instead of opportunities
  • You consider yourself a victim of circumstance
  • You are stuck in old patterns and too afraid to make changes
  • You give up easily because there’s no point in continuing
  • Your emotions run rampant and control your choices
  • You only dream about the life you want
  • You believe you are at the mercy of whatever the world gives you

So how did you do?

If you’re at cause and you’re busy creating the life you want… congratulations! I can’t wait to see what you create!

If you’re at effect and happy there. Enjoy the discomfort of your comfort zone.

Or if you want to take charge and step into your own magnificence…  then go back to the parameters above and start taking responsibility for your choices.

If you choose to step up and  escape the insidious loop of being at effect, don’t call it quits if you happen to slide back and forth as you learn to adapt to feeling in control of your life for the first time. It can be a slippery slope as you learn to rid yourself of old patterns of thinking and being. But take heart, it is so worth the perseverance. And you will learn to wield your own wand and create a magical future of which you’d only once dreamed.

Remember: Being at cause does not mean you will no longer be triggered.  It does mean that you have the awareness that whatever triggers you is about you, and no one else. You know that your reactions are your own limitations.

Your ego is a sneaky and treacherous little blighter.  It wants to hold you back to keep it company and it won’t give up without a fight.

But, you don’t have to fight. When you choose battle, you’ve already lost.

All you have to do is hold your own power.  When you back away from your negative thoughts and emotions, you render them powerless, making room for them to just pass right on through.

When you allow your feelings to flow, at the right time and in the right place, you can explore the reason for their being. From there, you can find the learning, and let go with gratitude. acceptance, and in many cases, a good laugh.  I love that part!

That’s a lot healthier than dwelling in the emotion and allowing it to continue to recycle and re-install into your neurology in a vicious cycle. This is the sad fate for those who choose to stay stuck in being at effect.

It’s all up to you. The power has been yours all along

So here to causing a stir! Be sure to mix up something wonderful!

It sure beats being  served up something unsavory and being stuck with it.

Well, it is to me.. but then I’m already creating the life of my dreams.

Won’t you join me?

 

12 Responses to Be a Possibilitarian!

  1. Laurie Seymour says:

    I am definitely joining you, Shelley! In fact, I may be co-hosting the party. Wonderful post.

  2. Peggy Nolan says:

    Shelley, I love this. Once upon a time I was an effect. Once I knew better, I became a cause. I quit being a passenger in my own bus…I became the driver. Oh yeah. The more responsibility I took for my own life, my own choices, my own decisions, the freer I became. I’ll never ever go back to being an effect. That’s just not fun. It’s miserable. It’s like living under a cold wet blanket. No thanks.

    xo
    Peggy

  3. Shelley Lundquist says:

    I hear you, Peggy! I once lived there too… Being chauffeured about – destination to destination hoping one day the driver would stop somewhere that looked interesting.

    And then one day i woke up, booted the driver’s ass out, and took charge of my own life.

    And you’re right.. once you step up and start creating your own tour… there’s NO going back!

    not ever!!

  4. Minette says:

    What a passionate stance for personal responsibility and being at cause. I love this post and appreciate you holding space and issuing this challenge. I have definitely been on the effect end of the scale but have worked diligently to be in the space of cause and it feels so good. Life is so much better at this end of the spectrum :-) Brilliantly done!
    Minette
    —-
    Minette Riordan, Ph.D.
    CEO, MinetteRiordan.com

    “Align your financial and spiritual success now.”
    Take a Free Sacred Money Archetype Assessment
    http://www.minetteriordan.com/money

  5. candideal@gmail.com says:

    Becoming a cause is definitely a process. In educational psychology, this is known as Internal Locus of Control (cause) and External Locus of Control (effect). Successful students definitely have internal LOC because they claim responsibility for what they learn. The good news is students with external LOC (looking to those around them to move them along) can be coached to move toward internal LOC.

    • Shelley Lundquist says:

      Thank you so much for your insights. Yes.. there is always hope for anyone who wants to take the steps needed to successfully reach their goals. The first step is always claiming responsibility. :)

  6. Joan Jakel says:

    Great post! You really hit on so many important components of stepping into your power to be a cause and step out of being a mere effect. It’s so easy to step into what’s comfortable rather than step out and create better practices and mindsets that support the desired growth. It’s like working a muscle, you have to stress it to grow. It’s when we step into the challenges and try on the new empowerment mindset that we can grow. Thank you for the reminders of what to watch out for and what we can do to reach our authentic self!
    Carpe Diem!

    Joan Jakel
    http://www.LaVidaTrutina.com

    • Shelley Lundquist says:

      Thanks, Joan! It really is just like working a muscle. The more we work it, the easier it gets. And it’s just as important to remember not to beat ourselves up when we slide, and to forgive ourselves along the way and to just keep going.
      Carpe Diem!

  7. Sue Kearney (@MagnoliasWest) says:

    Ahhh, one of my most favorite topics: being at cause or being at effect.

    Simple, not easy but simple, and a complete game- and life-changer.

    Thanks for the reminder.

    Blessings,
    Sue

    • Shelley Lundquist says:

      Thanks, Sue. You’re right… simple, but now always easy. Of course, it’s always as hard as we need to make it to find value in it.

      And yes, definitely a life-changer. Even a life-saver I would venture to say,

      Blessings :)

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