I haven’t written a new post in quite a while. My last post I Believe I Can Fly really opened my eyes to some startling truths.  As a result, I had some messy work to do.

The thing about awareness is that once you have it, you can’t un-have it. Once you gain awareness, you know what jibes and what doesn’t.  I know who I want to be.  And, surprisingly, I’ve since learned that deep down inside, I am already that person.

And deep down inside, you are too.

I’ve become more and more attuned to my soul’s whispers, and I have been  practicing a lot of self-care.  I am actually pretty proud  of myself for taking giant strides, facing fears, and moving forward to claim my gift: the gift of living my life.   I continue to walk forward in faith and with courage and I am embracing the concepts of honouring myself, trusting myself, loving myself and being myself.

Guess what?  It may get a little messy, but YOU can too!   I’ll be here cheering you on!

As you learn to love yourself more, you learn to share love with others more freely and openly.

Be gentle with yourself, but seek to learn, grow and change every day. It’s important to listen to yourself and to tell yourself the right things.  This means no self- deprecation.  NOT EVER!

We all get to choose the story we want to tell ourselves. Make sure your story aligns with the life you want to lead. If it doesn’t, re-write it.

 

“I AM… two of the most powerful words; for what you put after them shapes your reality.”

Never put yourself down.  Tell yourself  YOU MATTER.

Forgive yourself for floundering.

Live in gratitude.

Always lead with love.

Keep moving forward.

ALWAYS  fill in the blank with positive words of affirmation.

 

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”  ~ Henry David Thoreau

Think positive thoughts. Stand up for yourself even if it means standing up to yourself.

To do this, you need to believe in yourself and love yourself.  You truly need to believe that you are not only worthy of it, but that you are also a special part of the magic that swirls around and within you.  Be still and know.

Learn to be aware of everything.  Truly listen and be present.  Like anything else, the more you practice the more naturally it will come. This will allow you to tweak what you need to or determine if a complete overhaul is required.  You may not like what you see, but don’t let that deter you. The process is well worth it.

You also need to be aware of your behaviour and give yourself flexibility.  Do not lock yourself into patterns that have not served you well.   You can change them.

Einstein nicely summed up in these words:

Do something different.  Disrupt your pattern.  Jostle it around.  And then when all the feelings come to the surface – let them.  Let the tears flow and keep peeling the onion.  It’s not easy, but it is healing.

It is so truly amazing how easy it is to make changes when you can see the truth, accept the truth, and stand up for and to the truth.

I can clearly see my evolution.  I am wide-eyed and head held high.  It’s been rather awe-inspiring to behold and more importantly, to feel.

My recent approach is much more akin to jumping off a cliff than treading lightly, but I now put my all into everything.  I am not afraid to be vulnerable.  I have to be.  Vulnerable is open.  It’s my life on the line here.  And if that’s not worth transformation, then what else is?

I thought I’d have a little fun with the rest of this post.  Sharing the process doesn’t have to be cliché or boring. And well, I am definitely not that!

My dear friend Slam honoured me in his Beam The Joy of Imagination recently. So I decided to embrace my creative flair and show him what he’s really dealing with by approaching this post in my own inimitable style.

That which lurks beneath… (cue sinister music) dant dunt daaaaa…  (I don’t think I spelled that right, but you get the gist.)

Those who know me know I have a bit of flair for the dramatic.  I even occasionally burst into soliloquy when so inspired , leaping to a pedestal to express myself with appropriate vim.  Outrageous, maybe.  Quirky, ok.  but I’m good with that.  It’s all part of my charm.

I believe you should always be authentically you in all that you do.

It is when I feel comfortable being  the “me” I want to be, that I am most happy.  Unfortunately, sometimes that means making it through an occasional crazy moment.

If you ever get to witness one of those, it means I trust you.  It also means I’m confronting  fear and going through another growth stage.  Give me a hug and just keep loving me.  I ALWAYS come out stronger.

As I look back at over the years I’ve notice a lot of changes; shifts I made during my journey.  I was a different person then.  Many times over.  I guess there have been a lot of “me’s” living in this fiery redhead.  But the Shelley that I am today was always there at the core.

Somebody recently said to me “nobody know what’s in the bag except the person carrying it.” Well, I’m going to unpack mine in hopes that it will help you unpack yours.

Using my imaginative approach to problem –solving, and for the sake of demonstration, let’s recognise some of these parts of “me” by granting them each their own acknowledging moniker.  This will help illustrate the conscious choices you can make to change destructive behaviours.

***

We’ll begin with Petula. She and I had a lot of tension in earlier years. Although she did not visit often, when she did, her petulance always undermined me.  She was reactive, short-tempered, and cutting.  She was filled with a lot of pain and a lot of anger.

I did not understand how she could possibly be a part of me.  I do not like anger.  It’s pointless.  It’s harmful.  And it is not loving.

And yet, back then, it was there in me.  I was ashamed that I was not stronger.  And that it was there, in turn, made me angry. Of course, anger at anger does not a solution make.

I actually spoke to a colleague of mine, who was a counsellor, about how I could do away with her.

I told her I had plotted to lure unsuspecting Petula into the woods. I intended to distract her while we were searching for spring peepers, turn on my heel, and run like hell before she could follow.

I smiled at the absurdity.  Sandra smiled at my lack of compassion, knowing it did not fit.  And then she took my hand.  “You can’t leave her out there,” she told me. “You need to hug her, love her, and understand why she’s here.  She’ll keep coming back when you don’t want her if you don’t learn to honour her.”

And there it is. You have to get to the root of it.

Most of us have parts of us, things about us, that we wish weren’t there.  You cannot compartmentalize your feelings and expect them to disappear. To change them and let go, you really do need to understand why they’re there in the first place.

Petula and I had to face each other.  It wasn’t going to be easy since her very presence was so offensive to me.  But my anger at her was a negative force that kept pulling her back.  I had to get to know her.  And the more I took the time to understand her reason for being, the easier it was to finally say goodbye.  As it happened, Petula just needed a little attention and a lot of love and understanding so that she could heal.

I haven’t seen Petula in many, many years. And in remembering her now, it is with forgiveness and a smile.

***

Then we have Sister Mary Annette Stork, so dubbed by my dear friend DK.  Apparently, Mary Annette was derived from marionette, and stork, both in tender mockery of the so-called buggy whips I have for arms and legs.

Sister Mary Annette was very dear to me. She was a beautiful and well-meaning soul who wanted to make the world a better place by helping as many people as she could.  In that, she will always be a part of me.

Unfortunately, the Sister was also a martyr. She was always willing to sacrifice herself, ergo me, to help others.

I did eventually learn that to help others, we have to be able to help ourselves.

The Sister has since passed on to a better place.  May she rest in peace. The lessons that she passed on to me shall always be remembered.

It is still important to me to make a difference in people’s lives every day.  The only difference is that now I have added myself to the list. (Make sure you do too!)

***

Then came Lil.  Lil was a force to be reckoned with. She was the defiant one.  Lil stands for “last in line” because nobody’s was getting past Lil unless she let them.  Lil was confident.  She was righteous. She was strong.   She was protective of Carla (we’ll get to her shortly) and she never let anybody walk over her. She was also a savvy business woman.

To her credit, she was a defender of virtue and injustice and always believed she did everything for the right reasons.

For a time I liked being Lil. I liked having faith in myself.  I liked that I had developed some gumption.

But overtime I saw another piece was missing.  Lil was so busy standing strong, and she was so self-reliant, that she never let herself be vulnerable.  Lil did not trust.

And from within my answer came.  And I taught her that trust is not a weakness.  That giving IS getting; and that we really do have to be the change we want to see in the world.  That always starts with love.

Lil decamped a few years ago, but she left her strength with me for safe-keeping.

***

And then there’s Carla.  She has been around the longest and she has been the hardest to prepare.  Carla is sweet.  She is gentle.  She is insecure.  She has suffered a lot and has spent much of her life hiding and believing that she was damaged goods.  She believed  that nobody could love her.

But I love her.  And that’s what matters.

Ironically, Carla, the one with the most fears, was the one who always wanted to trust.  She wanted to be loved. She wanted to feel worthy.

To give you an example of her extreme insecurity:  Somebody once told her that she had an abnormally small head, and must look really funny wet.  She took it to heart.  Carla stopped swimming and walking in the rain for over 20 years!  Can you imagine how hard it was to help her?!

So, I’ve been loving Carla and trying to coax her out of her shell. She has been bravely stepping forward.  We got caught in the rain recently, and after an initial amygdala response, I encouraged her to enjoy it!  We splashed in puddles, sang, and glorified in it. And once home, drowned rat and all, I smiled at her in the mirror, I gave her a big hug, and I told her she was beautiful.

It’s all about those baby steps.

Carla and I have spent a lot of time together over the last few months – letting go of fear.  I have since sent her on her way.  But I am prepared for her should she pop back in for an occasional chat and reaffirmation.

***

And then there were two.  Now we’re down to Shelley and Scarlet. We make quite the dynamic duo!

Scarlet is a vivacious vixen!  She is alluring. She is playful.  She is passionate.  She is mischievous.  She is smart. She is unpredictable and unabashedly unrestrained.   I love Scarlet! She’s not going anywhere!

***

So you see, I have finally come down to me.  To Shelley. The authentic core of who I have always been and will always be no matter what the world throws at me.  I am pure love and light. I live with intention to make a difference every day with my words, my thoughts and my hands.  I am at my best when helping others.

There is a gift in that, in giving. You find an awareness of self when you touch the lives of others.  You tap into your core.  You tap into your connectedness with all that is.

I lead with an open heart and an open mind.  I choose to walk in faith, to listen to my heart,  and to honour who I am.

I am not perfect.  But I learn from every mistake I make.  Every day I am a better me.  I believe in myself and I have grown to love the stuff I am made of.  I wouldn’t change any of it, for it has all made me “me.”

I now know I am beautiful, inside and out.

I am happy to be able to say, I LOVE ALL OF ME, even my imperfections, because from them, I continue to grow.

I have traded my expectations for appreciation and it changed my world instantly.  Don’t get me wrong. I still have big dreams, and I also have the strength to see them through.

When it comes down to it, my big dreams are for a simple but passionate life.  A life of love, honesty, appreciation, kindness and strength, sprinkled with a little silliness and a lot of fun!  What could be more perfect?!

I see it now:

Ripped from the headlines of 2046…

“80-year-old great grandmother with big red hair wearing high heels  and a little black dress (and still looking fabulous!)  weaves maniacally through rush-hour traffic on the streets of Melbourne, on solar-powered scooter.” Said the feisty octogenarian: “I can’t help it, life’s too short not to live it out loud.”

You get to choose the life you want to lead, too.  You get to dream your dreams.

So take the time to work through your stuff and remember:

We all get to choose who we want to be in every moment.  Believe in yourself and choose wisely. 

Don’t quit until you’re exactly who and where you want to be.   

You’ll know when you get there.  Just listen to your heart. It knows the way.

Please take the time to share your own thoughts and stories.

 

80 Responses to All of Me

  1. Geee4choices says:

    I learned, everything I need is in me, I just need to pay attention to them. Yes I am beautiful within and and without. This is beautiful!  here goes the secret. God bless you shelly. @nomore_less

  2. Jo says:

    Wow Shelley!
    Thanks for sharing your vulnerabilities. I believe it is our vulnerabilities which connect us.
    Loved reading about all the different parts of you.
    Made me wonder about the parts of me I’m currently shedding and what their names would be 🙂
    So much of what you write resonates with me… with where I’m at on my journey.
    Keep having faith… Keep believing and keep being the authentic you 🙂 xx

    • Hi, Jo. Yes, I agree. It is our vulnerabilities that connect us. We are not all so very different.  And we each have our own lessons to learn. I like sharing. I am happy to be a beacon for anyone if it helps shine a little light on their path.

      I will keep the faith. You too, my friend!

      And I cannot be anything other than me 🙂

  3. Excellent post Shelley. We are all made up of many parts and many people; some of whom we don’t like or want to accept. “I have met the enemy, and he is me.” And we wrestle with them all, until we finally face them, and acknowledge them.

    The faith on yourself is important. Keep pressing. We eventually we grow up and grow into our most authentic selves. We are always in the process of becoming…

    Martina xo

  4. Really Funny (& Serious)……..  Ms. Shelley, I never know “what I am dealing with, ” with you and you just proved it!! LOL. This is a Captivating and Enchanting Read like the woman who wrote it!  “Slam”

  5. Cathy Wilke says:

    Shelley this was just what I needed to read today.  Thanks for being not only a great writer but an earth angel messenger.  So many great quotes in here.  My favorite: “Stand up for yourself even if it means standing up to yourself.” Beautifully said my dear. xo

  6. LOVE it, my dear Shelley! Your very brave & authentic opening will inspire
    many, I know! We don’t often show the parts that we’re not proud of but
    doing so connects us with others who’ve lived along the highway to
    healing! It’s heartbreaking, touching, playful, sexy & hopeful all
    in one! I adore the ending & hold that vision with you!

    To living life fully!!!!

  7. Glory2727 says:

    Each part of you and your journey is a story to tell-you did it well with clarity and truth. As a vintage soul I have lived through most of the characters you introduced and well on my way to being my true self. It is my soul wish that our youngsters read this message and take it to heart
    and meet all the characters including themselves and see the wisdom in the quote “Stand up for yourself even if it means standing up to yourself”

    • Yes. That sentence resounds with me, too. We must stand up to ourselves. We must tell ourselves the truth. We are the easiest ones to fool.  But when we walk in light with an open heart, the truth is plain to see. Then it’s up to us what we want to do about it. 🙂

  8. Taramarkus says:

    Well done Shelley.  Thank you for having not only the courage to share with us but to also care about you and your beautiful human spirit.  It’s a joy to hear your voice and learn about your journey.  You add light to the world.  Your choice to be happy encourages us all to reach within, sing out and look Up!   

  9. Awesome, Shelley!  Maybe I’ll be your scooter buddy. *Wonders  ̶o̶u̶t̶l̶o̶u̶d̶  on screen* Do they make doggy sidecars for Vespas? xoxo

  10. Alice Badler says:

    Fabulous article, Shelly – I could not agree with you more that we must embrace those pieces of ourselves that we need to get “rid of”. It is when we thank them for protecting us when we needed protection (and no longer do) that we are finally set free. And yes, once we embark on this journey of self-awareness and growth, we can never turn back. We know too much. I am so happy for you and so proud of your courage and strength. You are a great inspiration to all. Much love and light to you, my friend xx

    • Thanks, alice. You’re right. We can never turn back. For if we do, we’d be eaten alive from the inside out. It’s so important to pay heed to your soul’s whispers. They are there to guide us home. Much love and light to you, too, my friend xo

  11. Avis says:

    Shelly, I echo every other sentiment. This is brilliant and liberating! It’s a guide and illustrates the process of self-actualization and the journey to self-awareness. Thank you for your decision to show your vulnerabilities — to be transparent. Both provide confirmation of “All of Me” – not just fabulous read of a well-written piece.

    You GO Shelley! Loving all of you!

    ~Avis

  12. Deone Higgs says:

    What a power-packed post of inspiration, encouragement, and empowerment, Shelley! I LOVE IT!! 

    You’re so right about everything you have written here! 

    Self-awareness does come with a steep price, but if we are willing to pay the price and do the work that’s necessary for us to achieve it, we will understand how well worth it, it truly is. Over the last two (going on three) years, I’ve been on this journey of becoming more aware of my potential and what it takes for me to become who I was created to be. And what I’ve discovered about myself is how completely lazy I used to be. Baby steps is key. We can’t expect to be where we know we should be overnight. We have to pull our sleeves up, crack those knuckles, and dig in deep within ourselves – removing anything that’s not serving us any longer and replacing it with whatever we were lacking before. It’s certainly not easy, by far. But what in life worth having, comes to us easily? Nothing. We must come willing to make sacrifices, and know that our new path is one that is going to lead us right into our purpose. 

    I’m with you totally, my friend. I love all of me, and because of that awareness, I also know that life loves me and will continue to supply me with everything and everyone that will appreciate that awareness, as well. 

    Great post!  🙂

    • Dear wonderful Deone,
      You are always nothing short of spectacular in my book! I love sharing your journey and watching you grow. And I so admire that you share your strength, your wisdom and your beautiful heart to help others too.
      You are truly a kindred spirit. We are not afraid to push up our sleeves and dig right in. I believe it’s the best way to live.
      As I’ve said many times before, I believe in you. And I know you believe in yourself, as I do in my own journey. I have no doubt we’ll look back one day at all we’ve accomplished and all that we’ve become. Maybe we’ll even do it over a glass of wine.
      Cheers to you, dear friend xo

  13. Fatima Omar Khamissa says:

    Thank you for your courage and your inner fire!

    I’m gettingmyself a solar powered scooter too YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I love you just the way you are (((((HUGS)))))))

  14. Dede Watson says:

    Shelley, you are an inspiration in so many ways! A gifted writer who is able to touch the hearts of those you reach here and lure us back for more!!

  15. Salahudeen McDoom says:

    “We all get to choose the story we want to tell ourselves”.-LetmeLOVEyou.   I stand inspired! My dear Shelly, once again you have moved me in such a beautiful write. I read it 3 times over and every time I feel closer to you in spirit and in friendship. I am more blessed and more aware of life around me whenever I stop by and read your heart here. Love you, Shelly. All the best, Sal.

    • Sweet Sal. It seems like you’ve been with me from the beginning. I don’t recall how we got connected, and I guess it matters not.

      Your presence, your encouragement, your love, your support, your faith; all of it means so much to me. It always astonishes me. I feel truly blessed to have touched your life as you have touched mine, dear friend.

      Always wishing you love and light. xo 

  16. AJ Borowsky says:

    Great post Shelley! All the versions of me can relate to this. May we all be a better version of ourselves tomorrow while reveling in the joy of today.

  17. Catherine Jones says:

    Lovely post, Shelley! Really thoughtful , honest and moving. I think your article speaks to all of us; we all have parts of ourselves that we may dislike, that we wish to repress. That part of ourselves we call, the shadow self. I think the more aware we are of all the parts of ourselves, the more bakanced and harmonious we can be with ourselves and with others.

    • Thank you, Catherine. You’re right. The shadow self sounds so sinister, and maybe in a way it is. But only when we give it power to be.

      It’s hard to love yourself through the bad times, through the imperfections, but we must learn to. Because when we can, we step into the glory of true self. And when we shine, we light the path for others.

      Wishing you balance and harmony always. 🙂

  18. Dear Shelley,You write with vulnerability, honesty, and mostly, with an evidence of  love for yourself and others. As others have responded (such as Cathy  Wilke ~ “earth angel messenger”), all of us can identify with what you have shared because it is the journey we also have experienced in some measure. Being human does involve what you describe as “messy work”, and the most important task during the life journey, in addition to “loving” , is to strive for self-awareness.ps I really think you should write a book on all this:) Thank you Shelley for being you, EdC

  19. Dear Shelley,
    You write with vulnerability, honesty, and mostly, with an evidence of  love for yourself and others. As others have responded (such as Cathy  Wilke ~ “earth angel messenger”), all of us can identify with what you have shared because it is the journey we also have experienced in some measure. Being human does involve what you describe as “messy work”, and the most important task during the life journey, in addition to “loving”, is to strive for self-awareness. I really think you should write a book on all this:) 

    Thank you Shelley for being you, EdC

    • Dearest Edward,

      Your kindness always touches my heart.. You’ve nailed it! Those two elements truly are the keys to living a good life. “Loving” and “self-awareness.”

      Leading with love and staying open to truth; what a way to live! It allows us to tap into the greatness that we all have inside us.

      And good idea. Maybe one day I will write a book!

      Thank you my wonderful friend. For being YOU and for always reaching out with a loving heart. xo

      • Hi Shelley, 
        I really am very sincere about YOU writing a book. I can feel your truth and passion in the context of powerful creativity and word crafting. So as your ‘unofficial’  career-life counselor, I encourage you to start today  (vs “one day”) with a draft chapter-content summary and other notes. Use your posts as a guide for your ideas. The rest will follow and flow…once you take the first step:) EdC

  20. Peg Gillard says:

    You have offered the path of breadcrumbs to leave the darkest part of the forest behind and saunter into the part that offeres light, shade, interesting patterns, healing, and an ever-growing trail of opportunity! Thank you for sharing your journey and thank you even more for taking the journey and being a gift to all of us! Winning post!
    Peg

    • Wonderful, Peg! I love the way you see the world and the wonderful way you weave your words.

      I am so blessed by your presence in my life. You, and all our wonderful #spiritchat family. My heart is full that I have found a place where I belong.

      Thank you for everything. Thank you for being YOU!

  21. Xodomenicaxo says:

    Inspired to be!!!! What a great article! I am 23 years old and I am a firm believer that we must face our fears with enough courage to transform. It is important to talk to our fears, limitations, strengths, and let them live free. I also can see how I have changed overtime, and how each experience that has touched my life becomes one of transformation, sometimes of healing, sometimes of acceptance. Thank you!! So glad to read your post. Thank for shining light I such a creative and fun way!

    Sincerely,
    Domenica

    • How wonderful! So wise already and you have a wonderful future ahead of you.
      Yes, every experience changes us. We never stop learning. We never stop becoming.

      I am so thrilled you stopped by to share your own light. You shine so brightly, dear Domenica! xo

  22. Marie Wikle says:

    Strengthen what is already strong, be kind about what isnt and find something to love about each day!! 

    thank you for sharing this!! 

    @spreadingJOY 

  23. reikimuse says:

    Dear Shelley, I familiar with all your characters, and even see them in the play you maybe write in future. Yes, it is intimidating and takes time to choose one of those characters to be your authentic “me”. How many people one can touch and heal by trying to find “yourself”! Thanks for sharing your intimate search for “yourself” and encouraging us to match our characters to yours…

    • Dear Irene, thank you for popping in! Yes, we all go through these changes, differently, and yet somehow the same. The important thing to learn is that we can;t look outside for authenticity. Sure there are beacons that light the way. But the journey to true self is a journey within. And there you will find the most beautiful truth of all. 🙂

  24. Janet Blaha says:

    What a wonderful blog Shelley! You are beautiful, inside and out. Thank you for sharing your journey and words of wisdom. Your authentic core shines so brightly and inspires all of us to tap into our being and trusting our hearts.

  25. Jackiedick says:

    Really loved this!  ….soul whispers resonates with me very strongly.   A valuable and well written treatise on belief in self.  Great stuff here!

  26. Dear Shelley, I have always been inspired by your words and gestures. I really needed this as I find it difficult sometimes to go through highs and lows.  My favorite line is ‘Never put yourself down.  Tell yourself  YOU MATTER’ Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.

    • My dear friend. You are ever an inspiration to me. I am glad this post helped in some way. It is healing for me too, to reach out to others.

      While I neither enjoy the lows, I have learned to find a little excitement in them. It eases the pressure I feel in my gut. I know that this too shall pass, and when it does, I will emerge and be even more than I was before.

      And you will too my friend. I believe in you. xo

  27. Sarah Hopkins says:

    I absolutely LOVE this and I am so grateful to have stopped by 🙂 I can relate to your self-awareness and your beautiful writing so very much. Thank you for digging deep and sharing your self with the world 🙂 You are appreciated my dear!

  28. Todd Gray says:

    Absolutely wonderful Shelley, reading your reflection into yourself gave me chills… we all have these different parts within us, I usually refer to them as archetypes, yet so many people fail to recognize and honor them for the individual parts within us that they serve and protect.

  29. Jon M says:

    “I am ___________” Important statements to make and then live them. We need to be comfortable with who we are, what we want to be, and then live to connect the two. 

    Great messages here, Shelley. Keep living life fully!

    Jon

  30. MELISASource says:

    Excellent post 
    Shelley!! ~So glad to see you  back in stride!! 🙂 

  31. Alice Chan says:

    Thank you so much for sharing all the different parts of you, Shelley! All of us are multi-faceted, with some parts that are easily lovable, while others a little less so. Still they are all us and they all serve a purpose. You just illustrated that beautifully. Love and Hugs, Alice

    • Thank you dear sweet Alice. You always inspire me. Always. reading about your own journey, your own strength, has been truly an honour. You too share your vulnerability openly and with a loving heart. I love you for who you are my dear friend. xo

  32. Kat hurley says:

    Great post. I loved the imagery with all your ladies. So true that we must embrace and love them dearly to ultimately set them free;) I look forward to more adventures of fear busting! Keep it up.

  33. Shelly, I stand up and applaud your courageous efforts in
    truly expressing all that you are. What
    a magnificent life story and path you
    have chosen for yourself and filled with wisdom

    “Never put yourself down. Tell yourself YOU MATTER.

    Forgive yourself for floundering.

    Live in gratitude.

    Always lead with love.

    Keep moving forward.”

    (Words filled with wisdom. If you can forgive yourself, you can forgive others.)

    “You also need to be aware of your behavior and give
    yourself flexibility. Do not lock
    yourself into patterns that have not served you well. Why we all do this is beyond me, but we can change it.”

    (Usually fear of the unknown)

    “I am not afraid to be vulnerable”

    (((Yes))) once you realize that you can survive being
    vulnerable and possibly hurt, you come to realize your inner strength.

    “If you ever get to witness one of those, it means I
    trust you. It also means I’m
    confronting fear and going through
    another growth stage. Give me a hug and
    just keep loving me. I ALWAYS come out
    stronger.”

    ((Yes)) tolerance and understand is a must in all healthy
    relationships. Instead of being
    critical and looking only at the current behavior, try to understand what lies
    beneath. Giving a Huge hug along with a
    smile of understanding would be best for anyone confronting their fear.

    Petula must have been abused as a child. *tight warm
    loving hug* Yes, learn to honor her! She protected you with her anger and
    probably stubbornness.

    “Unfortunately, the Sister was also a martyr. She was
    always willing to sacrifice herself, ergo me, to help others.”

    Those of us that are loving and caring often end up with a
    double sided coin. one side leaning
    towards martyr and the other side
    living in defiance. The trust vs mistrust dualism. I still walk that tightrope sometimes

    ” I am at my best when helping others”

    (Just remember to help yourself as well.)

    “There is a gift in that, in giving. You find an
    awareness of self when you touch the lives of others. You tap into your core.
    You tap into your connectedness with all that is.”

    Agreed. Found that years ago. As long as you are not distracting yourself from your issues by
    dealing with the pain of others. When
    YOU are happy and healthy, Fully experiencing a part of the other’s pain and
    life will energize you as well as the other person. As you do the waltz between
    your psyche and theirs’… No words would need to be spoken as when you both
    look in to each other’s eyes, you both can feel the connection.

    Gentle, loving and kind are the qualities I hold in
    esteem. Those are the qualities over
    years have continued to instill within my being. No amount of pain will allow me to forsake them. As I am strong enough psychologically to
    cope with being vulnerable.

    Thank you so much Shelly for the wonderful experience of
    YOU. The Beautiful YOU, The YOU that is
    deep with in the core of your being. I
    will never forget what you have written.
    Thank You

    ~Nina Fox

  34. Yikes, sorry. Did not realize how long my comment was. You can delete it if you want. I would not take it personally. Again, Sorry

  35. Geraldine Bown says:

    Wow Shelley – my Lil is alive and kicking! While she isn’t in the for ground the whole time, she is always waiting and watching to spring out! Thanks so much for this. I need to take Lil for a walk and have a little chat to her (or two..or three…). Bless you Shelley – you’re an inspiration. Geraldine

    • Geraldine Bown says:

      I mean ‘foreground’

      • Hi Geraldine,
        I apologise for the lateness of this reponse. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
        And thank you for taking the time to come on in and share. I so appreciate you.
        Lil can be a powerful force. So strong. It wasn’t until I knew that strength is only part of the whole that I realised what was missing.
        We’re all here for you. I hope your talk with your Lil goes well. I have seen inside your heart. I know you are strong. And I have seen you open up. It is in that vulnerability that you become stronger. What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.
        Bless you, beautiful Geraldine. I believe in you. xo

  36. Shelley, I’m a little late to reading this but all in good time! 🙂 What an insightful post! Thank you for sharing so authentically and lovingly! I appreciate you! Love, Barbara

  37. Leon Enriquez says:

    SHELLEY:

    Lovely self-talk!

    Here’s something for you. Enjoy!

    S – See what you see, see things one whole;
    H – Heed your feelings, heed your true heart;
    E – Explore and be, explore your soul;
    L – Live your being, live sights you start;
    L – Love all that comes, love even pain;
    E – Etch true living, etch precious art;
    Y – You know the sum, you dare speak plain.

    Sincerely,
    LEON
    Singapore

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  39. Lisa Marie Rosati says:

    You get to choose the life you want to lead, too. You get to dream your dreams. And so it is dear Sister of the Moon. )0(

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